"I want to go home...NOW!"

by Lunga Khuzwayo

“What have I gotten myself into? Turn back now Lunga, while you still have a chance”, slowly I creep up the stairs as the loud music vibrates beneath my pumps, screams, squeals and alcohol spills…this was so not my scene. I wanted to dash back to res and cuddle with my books but outside in this wilderness, I stuck out like a sore thumb. This social experiment required me to go to the Steve Biko building (previously known as the Union) for the first time. I lived a good nine months without setting foot in that place; I had not missed out on much. “Student card please”, says the bouncer, I whip out my card and went into the sea of white. A black dot on a white page or a white dot on a black page, either or, the minority race always seems out of place in these social scenes.

I felt insecure which bothered me: I eat alone, walk alone, and go to lectures alone and sit alone yet going out alone, this was the first. This was no longer a matter of a racial experience but an issue of going partying ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT alone and trying to make at least one friend, “One friend? I have more than enough friends”, I tried to convince myself.

I prayed that whoever I came across would be so drunk that I would be a distant memory in the morning. One hour was far too long, I gave myself 30 minutes maximum. Luckily I bumped into an old friend, had a brief sober chat and *click click* we smiled for the camera. She introduced me to a few friends that I would probably never see again. This was my queue to leave, the long cold walk back to res was not worth the trouble and I guess I prefer to play it safe in life.